Summer holidays are here and we are always thinking of who we should head out with, on which days of the week and what we should do together. All of these are good but don't neglect yourself. I'm increasingly enjoying spending time alone at cafes and shopping malls. I once thought maybe, just maybe, it has got something to do with age. The feeling of wanting to be alone increases as the number of candles increases on our birthday cakes. I looked around my circle of friends and I realise that not everyone wants to spend time alone outside. Most people prefer to spend time alone at home. There is nothing wrong with that because I personally enjoy it a lot too. I love spending time alone at home, blogging, sourcing for inspiration online, spoiling doing my nails and maybe doing a little bit of online shopping. 

Be aware of the things you do when you're alone. Be aware of the things that come to your mind when you're alone. It helps give you a direction or goal you want to achieve in future. Or at least, it adds on to the idea of who you wish to be in the next 5 years or so. It's a good way to discover more about yourself. You spend time with your friends to know more about their lives. Likewise, you can spend more time with yourself to know more about what you need right now to build that future you. You spend time alone not because you have no friends. It is exactly that you have friends and have been spending so much time with them that you really need to start to know more about yourself. Especially if you are very very unsure of your path ahead of you. I cannot guarantee that by spending time alone, you can figure them out. At least, you can get a little idea of it.

That is if you are not constantly on your phone when you sit in a cafe alone. Instead, you set your phone aside and start people-watching. You will realise that there are a lot of people out there who are shopping alone, eating alone in a crowded place, sipping tea in a cafe, reading books alone in the library and all of a sudden, you feel that you are on the same frequency as them. You are no longer looking at them while you were out with a company of friends and wondering how on Earth did these people manage to drag themselves out of house and spend time alone in a cafe, chilling and reading books? Why not just stay at home in their comfort zone? You will find your mind giving you stories of the person you see sitting diagonally to your side, sipping tea and reading a magazine. There are so many stories you can tell yourself about the people around you. Good and positive stories of course. You can learn a lot by people-watching. Learn from their actions and reactions. This, in itself is already quite beneficial to self-help because you reflect upon other's actions and see if you see shadows of yourself in it. Is this what you wish to be? The kind of questions you can ask yourself are innumerable.

No one will tell you which shop to enter. No one will be around to give you stress by standing outside the shop to wait for you. You're all by yourself and this means freedom of time allocated to a shop you really really love. You can spend many hours in the particular shop in your favourite mall down the street and try on as many clothes as you want. Yup! As many as you want. There were already a few times I spend more than 2 hours in a shop just by trying and returning the clothes because nothing suits me. Who is there to stop you from trying clothes? No one! Anyone rushing you? No one! However, I do have a few friends that I can reach by Whatsapp or Line when I shop alone, just in case I become too fickle about what I should buy. I just need to send a few snapshots/ videos of my outfit in the fitting rooms and wait for replies! Perfect shopping day created this way. Hop to any shops, any malls and rest in any cafes of my choice. I've been loving solo-shopping that it makes me wanna head out alone almost all the time. Ohhh the joy of shopping alone! *gleeful*

Taking your first step out of house alone knowing that you will be alone the whole day can be intimidating if you are used to company. This is a shift from dependence to independence. From having friends to chat while you shop around or sit around in a cafe, to managing everything alone. Getting seats in a crowded place, standing up to take photos of your food, eating alone and awkwardly watching if anyone is looking at you, getting your bill in the cafe and the list just runs on. It's just like taking the first step out of house to go for a run after stopping for so long. It just gets better when you're doing it and at the end of it, you will feel so satisfied. Truth to be told, no one's really watching you. Everyone's busy observing if anyone's observing them. Be natural and enjoy the process of spending time alone.

I reflect a lot and in fact, almost all the time, alone or not. Reflecting your actions would really mean that you are trying to get to know yourself more. You are questioning yourself if you are being a fun, useful, positive, wise or any other adjectives you want to describe yourself as, to the people around you. Question yourself based on the different roles you hold. A son, a daughter, a sibling, an owner, a friend, a leader, a follower, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, an employer, an employee and etc. Discover yourself and categorise yourself. Discard what you dislike and improve on what you like. This is when you find yourself moving forward as an individual being, growing to be a better person. Spend time to reflect about yourself and your actions.

You don't speak at all unless you are asking for sizes, prices or bills. The kind of serenity you have is just way too awesome. You don't need to talk unnecessarily to make sure that you are entertaining them. You don't need to do anything because of a person's presence. Just listen to your surroundings and the interesting conversations happening when you are choosing your materials in Art Friend or queueing up for Gong Cha or queueing up for food. You only speak in your mind. Exercise your mind more by thinking more and speaking less. I speak a lot when I'm with a group of friends because I wanna make things more comfortable for everyone but I don't speak much when I'm with my best friends. Train your listening skills if you're not a very good listener. I am working on being a good listener. I made a little improvement but it's not good enough and I'm still trying.