It's time like this that I remind myself to rejoice in the Lord. 

Recently, I've been troubled by the university acceptance because friends around me have been receiving their acceptance letters while I wait daily, with so much hope that NUS/ NTU will send me one. When Dad opens the mailbox every evening, I would be standing a distance away, acting nonchalant but in fact, I was more eager than anyone to know what's in the mailbox. I'm actually only looking forward to NTU-ADM's acceptance letter. Just this one will do. Day after day after day after day and I still didn't receive any news. At that point, I came up with a few reasons as to why they took so long to process my application.

'Well, I submitted my portfolio on the last day so maybe they haven't assess it.'
'There are way too many aspects for them to look into and thus it would take more time.'

I could actually put aside the fact that some acquaintances have already received ADM's acceptance letter and continue to be hopeful.
I sincerely thank God for this hopefulness in me that keeps me going day after day.

Just today, I thought I should check the acceptance status on the portal. Carrying a heavy heart that hopes for the best and thinking of how I should react if it's not what I expect, I keyed in the application number and got logged in. Before I can officially react, I could feel my heart sink. I was accepted into a course that I wasn't very keen in relative to ADM. I want to fully expose myself in the Arts realm where it would take me further in photography but no. I was accepted by a semi ADM-ish thing with  engineering. Yes, I like physics but if I were given a chance to choose, I'd take full Arts course than a semi arts-engineering course.

Then again, if that's God's best plan for me, I'd follow because it's for sure that I'll be more blessed in the course than what I've planned for. It has always been this way.
I'd still appeal for ADM because that's exactly where I desire to be.

~

My subconscious mind hasn't been in it's best condition these few days and I have no idea why.
Perhaps it's the constant waiting for almost everything. I get impatient with myself.
Maybe I'm rushing things and once I catch myself doing so, I'd try to withdraw.
I'm getting weary. Be my strength Lord. Be my strength.