To people who do not know me personally, they will find me loud, expressive, friendly and fun-loving. I have always been blessed with friends who have qualities that I don't have - caring, helpful, patient and willing. I often wonder why I have friends who comes to me so willingly to care for me whenever they know that things were pretty rough for me. I often wonder why I have friends who have so much patience to help me with my homework or whichever aspect of my life. All these, I attribute to God's blessings for me. I'm not good with showing concern. There were many times I tried to show concern  but it all seem to go the wrong way. The gray area between showing and concern and being nosy depends on individual. I guess I've been falling into the gray area a lot. I'm also not good with sustaining a friendship. I cannot bring myself to send messages to friends saying, 'Hi, how are you? I've been missing you.' or 'Hello! How have you been doing?'. I'm not a conversation starter. We may not have held a conversation for a few weeks or months but that does not mean I do not want this friendship. I just don't really know how to sustain it the proper way. I am so thankful for friends who would pop a conversation with me every now and then and I feel bad that I've not been reciprocating. If I ever drop a text first, it would mean that I've considered for quite some time before sending that text. I don't even know where the the considerations came from.