photography
Thoughts
Walking out
December 14, 2014
Exams have ended for a week or two. I love love love loveeee the fact that school's out earlier than the previous semester. We had to go through 6 gruelling final papers last semester and ended on the last day of the official final exam date for school. No more last-day paper and it is definitely something worth celebrating about.
This final half of 2014, I've made much reflections but to no conclusions again. I took many steps that I shouldn't have.
I blamed everyone and myself. I did fight for my happiness but it slipped my hands once again.
Never really understood why the things took place but I still trust on the Lord because He knows best. Placed in an uncomfortable situation, I won't deny that there were a couple of time I hid reality. Hiding was never really me and not until this incident happened. What was I feeling when I hid? At least at that point in time, it did momentarily lessen the heartache I had.
Then I decided to face reality. What's most important isn't about moving on and smiling. It's whether I am able to face the memories and continue to smile and let it be the driving force in my life. I don't know if I've reached a point I decided that I wouldn't care less, or if I actually did manage to put it behind me.
I miss spending my night outside, either seated in the movie theatre or having supper at Bukit Timah or watching TV together. Basically just being in a common place, breathing the same air, staying close to one another. These are habits. Bad habits to be exact. Bad habits I want to hold on.
Then I kind of decided that I want to move on with the burden. People generally prefer to move on without their burdens but fact is, the burden is there and they chose to ignore it. I want to be stronger and I want to be happier.
All photos taken by Jayden.
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